The Fabricated Goddess

Why Am I Doing This....

I was going to give you a self portrait in lieu of a post, but I thought I should share with you that I'm struggling right now to stay on top of things.  It only took 10 days for me to get here, but I'm already questioning my sanity in pledging to blog every day this month.  I'm so overwhelmed by everything else in my life.  I went back to work full time this fall.  And while I love being out of the house more, I am finding it a challenge to adjust to now being stuck in a store away from home for days at a time.  And also, being so stupid tired every single day.  I know it's partly the weather and lack of sunshine, but dang! I barely make it through dinner.  Never mind trying to get anything much done around here.  I keep telling myself that I will adjust.  I will, right?

:: sigh ::

Will I ever figure out how to juggle all of it?  I do wonder if I'm incapable.  Seems that when I have one part of my life going so well, the other two thirds start to mould over like that half used container of yogurt at the back of your fridge.  Or maybe that's just my fridge.  

Finding balance seems to be a recurring yet elusive theme for me.  I don't seem to achieve it easily.  I also recognize that I have this expectation of everything being perfect at all times, anything less being failure.  Which, okay, I get is wrong on many levels.  Still, I want all my stars to align.  

So I'll throw this out there - how do you maintain balance in your life and what's your definition of balance.  And which is more important?  What defines balance or the actual achievement of it?  Chicken or the egg?

6 (or so) X 365

Dear Francesca,

Thanks for being the first true best friend I ever had.  When we met in grade 3 I had no idea that all these years later we would still be in contact.  Funny, that.  Since for long periods of time we lost each other.  I still remember the shock and amazement I felt when I discovered YOU living in the same residence at University, a few floors away.   How crazy was that?  

I am so thankful for reconnecting this summer.  And meeting your boys.  And laughing with you once again.  Despite the stupidly hot day and the ridiculous humidity, I cherish our day together and pray it's not the last.  Although considering how our paths keep crossing, I think it's safe to say that we'll meet again, darling girl.  

xo, 

m.

And The Winner Is....

See Susanne?  That whole 'pick me! pick me!' really worked for you!  I have a couple of purses you can choose from, so just email me (or phone!) and we'll get you sorted out.  

Thanks to everyone who commented.  Keep your eyes open for a giveaway next week.  

Special thanks to my super cute assistant Finn.  Check out his style.

:: stir ::

:: pick ::

:: display ::

Nice.

Savouring The Last Of Summer....

 

Question....

So, I won't beat around the bush. I'm just going to come right out and tell you. I've been approached and offered the opportunity to share certain products with my readers and give stuff away to them. I know, free stuff! I like the idea. I do. But I'm sort of on the fence about the etiquette of these things. Does this make me some sort of sellout? Or just an opportunistic so-and-so? Or does anyone even care? Maybe I'm making this a much bigger deal than it should be? As usual, I'm neurotically analyzing the crap out of what is probably a none issue. So instead of driving myself crazy, I thought, why not just ask you guys. So, tell me what you think and we'll see what happens.

Collecting...

So, um, right. I have a couple of obsessive collections going on around here.  One being vintage kitchen stuff and the other being shoes.  I have a lot of both.  Embarrassing amounts actually.  I can pass up a lot of things, vice wise, but it almost physically pains me to walk away from a great find.  And I can't even tell you what qualifies as a good find.  Just sometimes, a pair of shoes or an old casserole dish resonates with something deep in side me. 

I have issues, people, clearly.  Of this much I am aware.

So in lieu of therapy, I thought I'd share some of my favourites with you here.  It may be a recurring theme, since, well the collections are rather large.  

 

I have two of these Johnson Bros 'Daisies Won't Tell' platters hanging in my kitchen.  I love the simplicity of the colour scheme and the clean shape of them.  I love that the pattern is called 'Daisies Won't Tell'.  I mean come on, how fabulous is that?  And of course, the mark of any truly treasured piece in my collection - this pair has grown on me.  I love them more now than I did when I first got them.

And these are just fun.  Totally kill my feet to wear for anything but lounging at a cocktail party, which, granted, never happens, but worth it.  Orange leopard print open toed sling backs by Go Fresh.  Love. 

A List Of Sorts....

:: I'm still obsessed with self portraits.  I started taking them just before I started blogging 4 years ago.  I have thousands now....it's a bit embarrassing, but I just.can't.stop.

:: I'm working full time, and yet my house doesn't really look any worse for wear, which confirms earlier suspicions (ha!) that I'm not all that dedicated a housekeeper.  

:: I dreamed last night that someone offered me a job teaching art at a college level and I was ecstatic.  sigh

:: I still love words like lexicon and scintillating.  Somehow these words rarely manage to work themselves into daily conversation.  I shall make a distinct effort to correct that.

:: I'm missing my out-of-door alone time or, you know, running.  I really wish that I work part time and have the best of both worlds.   

:: Apologies that this post is lame.  If you read down this far YAY!  leave a comment and I'll enter your name in a draw for a lovely purse that has been waiting for a new owner.  I may even throw in  some other goodies I've been working on.  

Edited to add :: I'll draw a name for the purse this weekend.  I'll leave the comments open until Saturday at 10 pm my time.  And yes, Zephie, I'll gladly ship as far away as you!!

Little Relics....

I should mention that we had a lovely summer.  We spent much time at the beach and generally enjoying each others company.  I can't say I regret the lazing about.  We needed some serious down time.  A chance to regroup and reconnect and gather strength for the changes we knew were coming at us this year.  Namely, me going back to work for the first time (officially anyway) in 11 years.  I think it's been a bigger adjustment for me than anyone else.  But given my slightly neurotic nature, I guess that shouldn't come as a surprise.  

 We spent the last of our summer back in Ontario, hanging with my family, eating lovely garden grown food and drinking (oy, my liver) much wine.  And although we had a very busy time of it, it really was an excellent visit.  Which is saying a lot considering the amount of whining I did about travelling to ONTARIO to stay in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.  Seriously, it's the middle of nowhere out there.  

And slowly I started to reconnect with what that place means.  It's the closest thing to a home I've ever had.  That middle of nowhere place was the only touchtone in a chaotic world of moving so much.  And I think it's hard sometimes for me to recognize the old place because so much of it is new.  The old house is gone.  The old guy too.  The old barns.  The little shed that my Grandfather called the culleny house smelling of axel grease and junk and dust.  But little by little what was left of the old place started to emerge. The pig barn, no longer housing pigs and rapidly falling down.

Brick walkways made from what is left of the old barn after a wind storm twisted the wooden structure off it's foundation.  'The Deighton's' sign salvaged onto the fancy new shed.

 

The ring of foundation from the old silo stubbornly refusing to amalgamate into the drive that now graces the front of the new barn.  I can clearly recall opening up the spooky little door at the bottom of it and yelling up into the echoey cement tube when it was empty in the spring.  And I can hear his voice tell me to be careful. 

And I discovered that he's still there.  The traces of his life strewn about the place.   Tucked into little secret corners; lingering there.  Reminding me that I do have a tether that connects me to something larger than I am.  Reminding me that nothing in this life is ever really lost, just sometimes hidden from view, waiting patiently to be discovered again.  Reminding me that - despite my non-enthusiasm for the humidity (which was high) and the rushy rush of travelling and trying to cram everything in that we needed to - sometimes, it's okay to go home.

Movember....

Okay.  So I didn't know it, but aside from it being NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo, it's also Movember.  Never heard of Movember?  Well, me neither but as of last night (talk about your 11th hours commitment-phobes) Erin decided to join his excellent friend Neal and grow a 'stach to raise awareness for men's health.  

So if you want to support him, follow his progress or even just have a wee laugh, check out his profile.  

In other news, you remember this kid?

 

Yeah, I know, what a looker, right?  Anyway, he's 11 today.  Quarter of an inch shorter than me, larger than life personality, intense about his passions, kooky funny, smart, sometimes a very large pain in the ass, picky eater extraordinaire, with a great big heart.  Can't believe you are so big.  Oh happy day, dear boy.  I wouldn't change one thing about you.

To NaBloPoMo Or Not To....

Good Gravy!  I haven't updated this site since June.  JUNE people! That is ridiculous.  And, well, lazy.  It's not like I don't have things to say.  It's not like I don't think of updating.  It's just that I seem to always manage to talk myself out of it.  In fact, I've been tossing around the idea of shutting down this site altogether.  Maybe it's run it's course.  Maybe I've said what I needed to say.  I'm unsure of what the purpose of this blog is.  And what's more, I'm uncomfortable with the fact that I can't categorize this place.  I don't know what sort of blog I am.  I'm not a craft blog, or humour blog, or really even a parenting blog, although all those things do make guest posts here.  

But.

November is here and it's time to NaBloPoMo.  Which makes me think about giving this one.more.kick.at.the.can.

So, here's the plan.  I'm going to attempt to resurrect this old site and blog every day in November for National Blog Posting Month and I'll take it from there.  I'd like to kick start my writing again and this is as good a vehicle as any.  If anyone out there still visits this site, a hearty thank you for hanging around so long.  

See you tomorrow.  And like Max said, Let the wild rumpus start!